Can a Compulsive Liar Change?

Struggling with Compulsive Lying? You’re Not Alone

Compulsive lying can be isolating and damaging to relationships. Many people face this challenge, and with the right motivation and support, change is possible. Our therapists in Melbourne and online are here to help you rebuild trust and live more authentically.

How We Help You Overcome Compulsive Lying

Every individual has a unique story behind their compulsive lying. During our initial sessions, we’ll take the time to explore your experiences and understand what drives this behaviour.

Our approach is flexible—some of our therapists use psychotherapy to help you delve into the deeper emotional patterns, while others might use counselling or hypnotherapy to guide you through a more structured process.

Whether you choose to meet in-person at our Melbourne clinic or prefer the convenience of online sessions, we’re here to support you in a way that feels right for you.

Your Privacy is Our Priority

Your privacy is always protected. Our sessions are confidential, whether online or in our Melbourne clinic. We offer a supportive, non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts and behaviours freely, without fear or shame.

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Talking about compulsive lying can feel intimidating, but we’re here to make the process as comfortable and safe as possible. Your privacy is our priority—every session is completely confidential, whether it’s in-person or online.

Our therapists bring extensive experience and a compassionate touch to help you navigate and overcome compulsive lying. We believe in a personalised approach, adapting our methods to suit your unique circumstances. Whether it’s through psychotherapy, counselling, hypnotherapy or other therapeutic techniques, we aim to meet you where you are, guiding you in a non-judgmental and supportive space.

We understand that compulsive lying often comes with feelings of shame or anxiety, and our goal is to create an environment where you can explore your thoughts and behaviours without fear of judgment. Here, you are supported, understood, and challenged to work through your patterns towards genuine, lasting change.

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Why do people become compulsive liars?

Compulsive lying often begins in childhood, as a way to cope with feelings of shame or anxiety. It may stem from growing up in environments where certain emotions and thoughts were discouraged. Over time, lying becomes a compulsion, a familiar response to prevent perceived difficulties, even though it creates new challenges.

For some, it’s about preventing vulnerability—fearing that their true self isn’t good enough. Others may lie to create distance from those they feel smothered by or controlled by. Others lie to inflate their ideal ego and compensate for love that they missed out on. Compulsive lying can become so ingrained that even the individual starts believing their own fabrications.

Without intervention, compulsive lying can persist throughout a lifetime. Our therapy provides a path to understanding and aims to transform these behaviours, allowing for honest and fulfilling relationships.

Ready to take the first step towards honesty?

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Dealing With Lying In A Relationship

While lying may have seemed to make life easier in the past, you’ve probably already realised that it can have a significant negative impact on your work, on loved ones, friends and colleagues. Even on strangers! It can ruin your career, tarnish your reputation and destroy relationships.

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Deep intimacy requires trust. Friendships require trust. Fruitful working relationships require trust. Without trust, everything you say is called into question and every important person in your life feels betrayed and uncertain about your true intentions and feelings.

Just as importantly, your habit may be preventing you from getting what you need from your relationships. Many people who lie frequently are chronic people-pleasers who bury resentment and don’t feel capable of asking for what they want and need. Since their partners, friends and colleagues don’t even know they’re unhappy, there’s virtually no chance of improvement.

There’s also some evidence indicating that this condition creates personal distress even when the liar ‘gets away with it’. It can make it harder to connect with other people and feel empathy.

Plus there’s the constant anxiety about getting caught in a lie. The pressure to remember your lies, and to manage the snowball effect of covering up lies with more lies, can lead you to feel guilty, fake, worthless and powerless to change.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Unravelling the interior tangle of trauma and denial and ingrained behaviour can be tricky on your own. But you can get help to address your compulsive lying and set your life back on track. And the earlier you start, the better.

How To Stop Compulsive Lying

Admitting that you have a problem is the first, courageous step towards recovery. Seeking professional treatment for pathological or compulsive lying is the second.

Our psychotherapy, counselling or hypnotherapy services are available to help you identify and address the underlying causes of your addiction, so you can work towards the goal of stopping altogether.

As you begin to gain insight into the triggers and patterns of your compulsive lying, you’ll be better equipped to anticipate and control it. You may notice an improvement in your relationships and a significant increase in your self confidence. Not the fake kind of confidence that lying temporarily provides, but an authentic feeling of self-worth.

Psychotherapy involves deep, honest self enquiry designed to transform the inner conflicts that give rise to excessive lying in the first place. It requires commitment and the courage to confront painful, long-suppressed emotions. But the more thorough the therapy, the more likely you are to achieve lasting results.

What to Expect from Compulsive Liar Therapy at Bayside Psychotherapy

 

We offer online and in-clinic counselling, psychotherapy or hypnotherapy.

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Bayside Psychotherapy offers a comprehensive approach to compulsive liar disorder, providing both online and in-clinic options for counselling, psychotherapy, or hypnotherapy. Our priority is to foster a space that is safe, supportive, and free from judgement or shame. Understanding that compulsive lying requires professional treatment, we approach each case with a blend of objective insight and deep empathy for the challenges and discomforts brought on by compulsive lying.

During your initial session, you'll have the opportunity to share your experiences confidentially, pose questions, and assess whether our practitioner aligns with your needs. This meeting is crucial for laying the groundwork for your therapy, offering us valuable insights into your specific circumstances, and establishing your goals for treatment and whether there is a fit.

If both yourself and the therapist working with you choose to continue, we will collaborate with you to design a personalised treatment strategy. Our approach might include short-term interventions like hypnotherapy to address and modify ingrained patterns of thought and behaviour. However, recognising the uniqueness of each individual's journey, we might also suggest therapies such as psychotherapy, mindfulness therapy, cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), or neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), depending on which therapist you work with and what suits your specific requirements best.

Our goal transcends beyond merely treating the symptoms of compulsive lying; we are committed to assisting you in uncovering the root causes of your compulsive liar disorder. By doing so, we aim to empower you to lead a life that is not just free from compulsive lying but is also more rewarding, fulfilling, and authentic.

Understanding the Roots of Compulsive Lying

Compulsive lying often originates in childhood, serving as a defence mechanism against feelings of inadequacy, shame or anxiety. Growing up in environments where expressing certain emotions or thoughts was discouraged can foster a habit of dishonesty. At times, the origins of compulsive lying may be complex and not immediately apparent.

For many, compulsive lying becomes a means to sidestep conflicts, yet ironically, it invites new problems. Some individuals, deep down, feel their authentic selves aren't worthy, leading them to seek approval through falsehoods. Others may use lying as a way to create emotional distance from people they perceive as overbearing or controlling.

Regardless of the initial cause, lying can transform into a compulsive behaviour, feeling more natural than truth-telling. This cycle can become so entrenched that individuals start deceiving themselves, making compulsive lying a pervasive aspect of their lives.

Without the intervention of therapy focused on compulsive lying disorder, this pattern can persist indefinitely, hampering one’s ability to form genuine and trusting relationships.

Transforming the cycle of compulsive lying into a narrative of growth and authenticity requires courage, self-reflection, and professional guidance. If you're ready to address compulsive lying and rediscover your truth, consider reaching out for professional support tailored to your journey.

Will therapy work for my compulsive lying?

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Compulsive lying often serves as a way to avoid uncomfortable truths and emotions. It’s natural to feel hesitant about starting therapy, especially if you’re unsure whether it will work for you. This hesitation is completely understandable—facing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours can be daunting.

However, avoiding these emotions can keep you trapped in the cycle of lying and prevent genuine change. Our therapists, with extensive experience in treating compulsive lying, understand your fears and are here to provide a safe, non-judgmental space where you can confront and overcome these challenges. With our support and empathy, you can work through discomfort and make meaningful, lasting changes.

How Long Will Compulsive Liar Therapy Take?

Many clients begin to notice positive shifts within the first few sessions, which can be incredibly encouraging. However, true, lasting transformation often requires a deeper commitment to insight-oriented psychotherapy. This kind of therapy is about more than just quick fixes; it’s about uncovering and addressing the underlying causes of compulsive lying, leading to meaningful and enduring change.

In your initial sessions, we’ll work together to determine the best approach for your unique needs. Whether it’s through psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, or supportive counselling, our goal is to empower you to take back control of your life and live more authentically, one step at a time. If you’re unsure which therapist or therapy type is right for you, our short quiz can help you find your perfect match.

A Journey Worth Taking

While early improvements are possible, it’s important to remember that therapy is a journey, not a quick-fix. We’re here to help you dig deep, uncover the root causes of your behaviours, and guide you towards a more satisfying, fulfilling, and authentic life.

We’re committed to walking this path with you, providing support at every turn. But for therapy to truly work, your commitment is essential. Every individual’s journey is different, and your success will largely depend on your willingness to engage fully in the process.

Is it time to work on you and commit to compulsive liar treatment?

Call Bayside Psychotherapy on (03) 9557 9113 if you have questions, use our contact form, or if you are ready to commence treatment booking online is secure.

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Note: Whilst we will do our best to assist you, we rely on our clients’ full commitment to and participation in the treatment process to optimise results. Although some of our therapists work with people presenting with this condition, no guarantees of any outcomes can be made.

Explore Our Range of Therapy Solutions

At Bayside Psychotherapy, we are dedicated to providing a diverse array of therapy solutions tailored to meet the unique needs of our clients across Australia. Whether you are seeking support from the comfort of your home or prefer the traditional in-clinic experience, our range of services can accommodate your preferences and lifestyle.

  • Online Therapy in Australia: Embrace the flexibility and convenience of receiving therapy wherever you are with our online therapy in Australia. Our secure and confidential online platform ensures you have access to high-quality therapy, offering a pathway to healing and growth without geographical constraints.
  • Generalised Anxiety Disorder Treatment: If you find yourself persistently worried about various aspects of everyday life, our generalised anxiety disorder treatment can help.
  • Couples Counselling: Navigating the complexities of a relationship can feel overwhelming, especially when communication breaks down or trust is strained. Our couples counselling services offer tailored approaches aimed to address your concerns, fostering understanding and intimacy. We help guide you through challenges, aimed to build a stronger, more harmonious partnership.

At Bayside Psychotherapy, our goal is to offer effective, personalised therapy solutions that support your journey towards healing and personal growth. Discover the path to a more balanced and fulfilling life with our comprehensive compulsive lying therapy services.

Frequently Asked Questions

Whilst there has been little research into whether compulsive lying may be a symptom of depression, the true causes of compulsive lying are unknown.

For instance, it has been reported anecdotally as being associated with several other disorders such as Bipolar Disorder; Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Impulse control issues; Substance dependency; Borderline personality; or Narcissistic personality. All of these illnesses can involve depression as well as compulsive lying, yet to state compulsive lying is a symptom of depression would be incorrect - they are simply two separate symptoms of an underlying conflict unique to an individual. Of not, not every compulsive liar has an underlying mental illness as such. Figuring out where the symptom fits into a persons life and what function it intends to serve can be revealing. It is a case by case consideration.

A core feature of a pathological liar is that they generally have no obvious motivation to lie. Because of this, it can make it frustrating or even difficult to know what to do if you think you’ve met one. The function and purpose may be unconscious and ironically it required honestly and commitment in therapy to get to the trues behind the temptation to lie. Given commitment and honestly is needed in therapy for treatment to be successful, not all people experiencing pathological lying will benefit from psychotherapy or even counselling. An initial assessment session is indicated to determine motivation and appropriateness of therapy. That said, there is always a purpose behind the lies unique to the individual.

It is often possible to tell if and why someone may have told us a lie. This is usually an incorrect or false statement they make to (consciously) benefit themselves, such as to avoid stress, embarrassment, or anxiety. Unconsciously however the person lying may struggle with anger under the surface and lie in order to create conflict (he or she consciously avoids conflict while unconsciously orchestrating it by way of setting themselves up to be caught out lying). This is typical but not universal. Every case is different.

Whilst this may be in the instance of a simple white lie, there are a few tell-tale signs to help recognise a pathological liar.

For example, a pathological liar may lie for no obvious reason, with lies that do not seem to impact or benefit them in any way. Their lies seem to have no clear benefit, which can be particularly frustrating because the person lying doesn’t seem to gain anything (obvious) from their lies except to distort or manipulate the truth. In addition, the lies they weave are often theatrical, complex, and extremely thorough.

Pathological liars tend to be great storytellers and, even though their lies are quite obviously over-the-top, they may be very convincing – leading you to doubt yourself and what you believe to be the truth. A pathological liar may often show themselves to be the hero or victim in their lies, to invoke either awe or pity in the listener. Along with this, pathological liars sometimes seem to believe the lies they tell, weaving stories that fall between obvious lying and delusion, in simpler terms - they seem to believe their own lies and become more convincing.

It can be problematic to determine how to deal with a pathological liar, especially since their defensive manoeuvres of denial, minimisation, projection, displacement, lashing out or gaslighting may be activated following confrontation. There are a few coping methods for dealing with a pathological liar, such as not losing your temper with them - it’s important not to let your anger get the better of you. 

  • Remember, it’s not about you - it’s difficult not to take it personally when lied to but remember the person may be experiencing an underlying disorder.
  • Be kind and supportive, but firm - remind them that you value them for who they are and that they don’t need to impress you with their lies. But encourage them to consider therapy if they recognise a pattern and are ready to change.
  • Don’t engage or encourage them – you may choose to question what they’re saying, but advise them that you don’t wish to continue the conversation if they are lying. Sometimes setting a clear boundary and limit is crucial to preserve sanity in a relationship depending on the circumstances.
  • Suggest help - suggest that they consider professional help, without judging or shaming them, reminding them that your suggestion comes from a place of concern and care for their well-being. It is ultimately their choice however and if they maintain denial in the face of evidence and otherwise to refuse treatment, there is little therapy can provide until they begin to take responsibility.
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