Compulsive lying is when fibs or exaggerations start slipping out without much thought, even when there’s no obvious reason to lie. You might find yourself lying even when you don’t need to, or don’t want to. 

For some people, it becomes a habit. A way to avoid conflict. Or a way to feel safe or in control. But over time, it can chip away at your relationships, your confidence and your trust in yourself. 

If lying feels like you can’t stop doing it, therapy can help. Therapy helps you understand the ‘why’ behind the behaviour and offers safer, more honest ways to cope.

Compulsive lying can show up in lots of ways. But here are some patterns we see a lot: 

•     Lying to avoid an argument or uncomfortable feelings.
•     Making up stories to seem more likeable or get sympathy.
•     Lying out of habit, even when there’s no real reason. 
•     Believing your own stories (blurring the line between lie and reality).
•     Playing the hero or the victim.
•     Lying to hide something (like cheating, addiction or fear).
•     Telling detailed, over-the-top stories that don’t quite add up.

 These patterns aren’t always about manipulation. Often, they're a way of coping – even if they’re no longer working.

If you lie a lot (and feel awful afterwards) or feel stuck in a pattern, it might be time to reach out for support. 

You might notice things like: 

•     Lying without consciously meaning to.
•     Feeling ashamed or fearful after lying.
•     Losing trust in relationships.
•     Wanting to stop but not knowing how.

If this sounds familiar, therapy might help you figure out what’s driving the behaviour and what change could look like for you.

There’s rarely just one reason. Lying can become a survival tool, especially if you grew up around fear and judgement.  

Some people lie to stay out of trouble. Some lie to feel seen or accepted. Some don’t even realise they’re doing it until it’s too late. 

Therapy helps you look at your patterns with curiosity (not shame) and gives you space to understand what’s underneath

It can be, yes. Some people who struggle with compulsive lying also live with ADHD, depression or certain personality traits that make emotional regulation tricky.  

That said, not everyone who lies compulsively has a mental health diagnosis. And not everyone with a diagnosis lies. 

We don’t believe in boxing people in. We believe in understanding your unique story and working from there.

Yes. 

We’ve worked with people who’ve felt stuck for years, scared of ruining another relationship, or not being able to stop even when they consciously want to.

Change is possible. It won’t happen overnight, but with support, self-awareness and the right tools, things can shift.

Here are a few things that might help: 

•     Notice when you lie and what might be triggering it.
•     Reflect on how you feel before, during and after a lie.
•     Pause before responding – even for a second. 
•     Journal and talk to a therapist about what’s coming up.
•     Be kind to yourself. You’re trying to unlearn something that once protected you.

 Therapy gives you support while you work through all of this.

Compulsive lying can be deeply isolating. Lying can break trust. Even small lies can start to build walls between you and the people you care about.

You might notice people pulling away. Or feeling unsure whether they can believe you. You might feel disconnected, frustrated or ashamed (even when you want to be close to them).

We help you understand what’s behind the lies, so you can start repairing trust - with others and with yourself.

There’s no one-size-fits-all, but at Bayside Psychotherapy, we use a few different styles of therapies depending on the therapist and what you need: 

•       Psychoanalytic psychotherapy – to understand the roots of your behaviour.
•        Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness-based therapies – to help with awareness and emotional regulation.
•       CBT – to help shift unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.

 We’ll work with you to find the right fit.

It all starts with a conversation. You’ll meet with a therapist who will listen, ask the right questions and help talk through the things troubling you. 

We’ll explore the patterns behind the lying, how it’s impacting your life and what might help.  

You can work with us online or in-person (Melbourne).  

You set the pace. We’re just here to guide and support you.

Yes, online therapy works really well, especially if you want privacy, flexibility or just don’t feel ready for face-to-face. Many clients find they open up more easily online. 

 You’ll meet with your therapist over secure video, and everything else stays the same: same support, same approach, same quality of care.

It depends on the therapist you see. Some of our team offer Medicare rebates with a referral. Others may be covered under your private health fund.

If you’re not sure, see our FAQs and get in touch. We’ll help you find someone who fits both your needs and your budget.

It’s not easy, especially when you’re not sure what’s real and what’s not.  

Here are a few ways to support someone you care about:

Stay calm and assertive;

•     Encourage therapy (without blaming or shaming). 
•     Set healthy boundaries around communication and trust.
•     Let them know you care about them, not their stories.
•     Don’t try to force change (that part has to come from them).

 Your wellbeing matters too. Sometimes supporting someone means protecting your own emotional space.